Power and Choice

(Estimated reading time: 9 minutes)

With all the bad leadership that the world had experienced throughout the history of humankind, the term power had gained a negative connotation. Having power over others has become a terrifying thing, as those who have power or authority over their fellows do not always evoke a positive impact or change on others. Power is defined as "the ability to do something or act in a particular way... as a faculty or quality," and, "the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events." (Source: Google Search, Oxford Languages) As we can see, these definitions give us the two sides of power. One is gaining control over others and over certain situations, and the other is having the ability to do something. As we continue we can see how we can utilize both to our advantage in gaining more on certain aspects of our lives.

Choice, on the other hand, is a much more forgiving term. It is defined as "an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities." (Source: Google Search, Oxford Languages) The choices we have can have little impact on us- such as what to have for dinner or what to wear for work- or can have huge ramifications in our life- like deciding to get married or leaving a distasteful job. Having different options can lead to informed decisions, which is why we prefer to have a lot of choices with varieties of criteria over things we are dealing with. Power and choice are two distinct things and yet they can be related or even interchangeable. Let us consider an example. Let's say an employee is on a low-level job. It is only natural for that person to clamor for a higher position with much more responsibilities and feel more relevant to the company where she/he belongs. But what can that employee feel if even if, instead of a promotion, she/he is delegated with more work, let's say to lead a project to work on. It will make the employee feel good about her/his job as it gives a sense of significance within the company. Leading a project provides a sense of power and includes decision-making tasks to achieve the desired goal of the company aims that can make the employee satisfied with her/his current position. When there is not much of an option to make a decision over something, people tend to go for power- for instance, having a high-power position. 

The unpredictability of life and the changing perspective of people around us can deny us power and choice over certain matters. Things can be out of our control. Suddenly, we may lose a loved one, maybe over a terminal illness or a freak accident. Our partner or spouse can suddenly choose to leave us, even without any apparent reason. Natural calamities are also hard to predict and may come at any moment without signs and warnings. The economy can suddenly collapse and we can suddenly lose our jobs. And the CoVID-19 pandemic has shown us how things can drastically change for everyone. We can get blindsided at any time because of certain events that get out of control. Losing a sense of control can lead to anxiety and for some, depression. When we lack the capacity to be in charge of our lives, isn't it a form of deprivation? 

Having a variety of choices can help us satisfy our needs and wants. Gaining the capacity or ability to do things can make us feel competent, recognized, and respected. And having both gives us more freedom, especially when making important decisions in our lives. As we make more informed decisions, we then achieve the level of satisfaction we desire. The unpredictability that is inevitable and is always present in our existence can lead to the loss of both choices and power. But it does not totally mean that we cannot gain or regain control of our lives. Let us move on to certain specifics. There is a notion that whatever we put in our body, it is what our body becomes. And there is "garbage in, garbage out." Let us apply this to our physical health first. Taking care of our health is imperative. We can choose what we take in as nourishment for our body We have an option over the food we eat, the tasty ones or the healthier ones. We want to choose what is the most beneficial for our bodies. We cannot choose our genes, but we can do so much to participate in taking care of our bodies. We always have the option to seek professional advice for our health, and we can always start an exercise to improve our well-being. Even from the things we choose to take in our minds, we can benefit the most when we are careful with our options. As entertainments such as the TV and now the prevalence of the use of social media are part of our daily reality, there is too much information that we see in a matter of hours. Does the form of entertainment we select make us more detached from the reality we live in? 

Also, lies, misinformation, disinformation, and fallacies are common on the internet, and if we are not careful enough we can be persuaded to believe them. Advertisements are frequent and their strategies to manipulate our decision-making evolve as our society changes. 

It is vital to sift the information we accept and choose the factual and relevant ones. That is to say that we should apply discretion on whom we choose to be our influences or what influences us in making judgments. Are the people we choose as models make us reach positive changes and improvements in our lives? Are the sources of our information reliable and trustworthy? Do our friends and acquaintances lead us to achieve more of our goals, are supportive of us, and are accepting of who and what we really are as a person? Is it reasonable to choose to stay in a toxic relationship? We cannot control people, we don't have power over their actions and responses, and certainly, it is not our job to make decisions for them (unless they lack the capacity to do so as in some cases of disabilities). 

We cannot directly influence how they see things, what decisions they might make, how they think, or how they will react. But what we control is how to associate with them. Communicating our needs and desires to other people can lead to understanding and can lead to an outcome that is closer to what we intend to achieve. People can also disappoint us. What can help us to overcome such disappointment is to see things in perspective. We can choose to think that certain things are truly out of control and people can be in a very dire situation that can make it impossible for them to perform their obligations. We are the ones responsible for our own actions. Emotions are tricky, and we cannot control them. But learning to accept our emotions as they come can help us realize that we do not have to let them control us. We cannot control our emotions but we can control how we act on them. We can be angry towards someone but can choose not to hurt them no matter how much we have the urge to do it. Emotions are vital information that can show us what our mind is telling us. 

As we assess our current predicaments, we can learn that the emotions that accompany them always come and go. One of the primitive choices that we have is giving our consent to others. We can agree to do something for someone or deny them what they require us to do. There is this urge to please the people around us. But consenting to every whim of everyone around us can erase our identity. If we conform to everything that people around us do just because it is the "normal" or "right" or "the only" or "traditional" way to do them, we lose our personal freedom. What we are consenting to is dictated by others around us. We can gain power by learning when to say "yes" or "no". We cannot choose happiness, but we can choose to be positive. Certain undesirable events in our lives can make us feel we are not in control, but we can think that we are just undergoing a process. We may lose something we truly value, but we also gain some. What we gain most of the time is the wisdom and discernment that accompanies our experiences. We shouldn't miss the opportunity to learn about every downfall that comes to us. 

There are times when what we desire is not within our reach. But have we taken a look at what we have in hand? We should choose to learn to appreciate the things that we have. Then again, change is imminent. Certain things happen unexpectedly. We may be caught off-guard at times. But what should we do if something throws us out of balance? The right step is always toward acceptance. We should learn to accept that there are things we can control and learn to let go of those we cannot. There are also times when we can feel frustrated if we miss certain opportunities and chances. We wish we have done something differently in the past. But to dwell on the things we regret imprisons us on the time that can never be recovered. Whether it is a mistake we have done or someone else's failure, we have the option to learn from the past and continue to improve ourselves. Because of failed actions from the past, we may also be anxious about what the future holds for us. We might get concerned that something might go wrong again no matter how careful we choose not to commit the same mistakes again. We can create plans for the future, but stressing too much about things that don't happen yet is the same waste of time as dwelling in the past. Worrying can paralyze us and can impair us in reaching decisions. Our control of the future is based on the things we do today, at this very moment. 

We always have to choose to use our most valuable resource wisely- time. Again, life is unpredictable. There are times when we can feel we lose control over things. We may feel powerless in some situations. But this does not always spell the end. Because of the changes around us that we have to live with, desiring to gain power and looking for more options is only natural. Not having either can lead to dissatisfaction. Learning to use our judgment and opening our minds to see what aspect of our life we still have power and that there are still choices available to us can help us gain (or regain) control. In this way, we can gain more sense of control over certain aspects of our lives and become more empowered as we see that we are making the right decisions.

Power and Choice by Leandro Angelo Castro is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.