"To be, rather than to seem."
We all want to achieve perfection. Anyone else who says otherwise is either a liar or out of touch with reality.
We desire a perfect relationship. We want to ace our scorecards, tests, and grades. We do what we think will make us have a perfect body. And how frustrating it is for some when they just can't get the perfect selfie.
But is desiring perfection right, and will it lead to a contented and meaningful life?
Being perfect in the eyes of others has been a shield for many. Just look at people's social media accounts. Even if life has been rough, social media feeds should always be awesome.
Of course, it is not bad at all to post some of the achievements you made through sheer talent and grit, and nothing is wrong to post those shoes you finally bought that you've always wanted or the vacation you longed for and truly deserve.
But the thing is, we try to look perfect, most of the time, just to impress others. We try to cover the ugly parts, the dark side, the unappealing. We ignore the nasty stuff and hide it until everything around us crumbles, and the ugly truths that we try to hide with the picture-perfect image get spilled out.
Making perfection the goal is demoralizing as it gives no room for mistakes, sets unreasonably high standards, and will only make one feel like a failure no matter the effort is given.
That is why to become seemingly perfect in the eyes of other people is common. Because covering something we don't want in ourselves with empty vanities is easier than realizing and accepting them.
Instead of accepting the fact that there is something that needs fixing in a messed-up relationship, that we are ageing, that we are getting fat to the point of getting sick because of an unhealthy lifestyle, that we are broke because of a lavish lifestyle beyond our capacity, that someone is smarter than us and accomplishing more, it is easier to share posts that cover these facts that are difficult to swallow.
Again, nothing wrong with sharing the good stuff we enjoy in life and that we achieve through hard work and honesty.
The thing is, do we want to be perfect just in pictures and posts? Isn't it the same as deceiving others and, at the same time, lying to ourselves?
If we are like that, we can say that we are just giving more importance to other people's opinions about our lives and ourselves. And what other people tell us—the praise, the admiration, even the envy—only feeds the ego. This in turn will make one desire to be perfect in front of others even more, just as the more likes we receive from others in social media make us want to pick the most perfect post about ourselves and our lives.
The hard truth? Perfection is an illusion. There will be others who can have more than what we have, achieve more than what we want to, and be better than what we desire.
But how can we escape this vain effort to seem perfect in front of others?
Instead of trying to be perfect in the eyes of people around us, strive for excellence. Genuine achievements will never go unnoticed and unrecognized.
We should set for ourselves high standards, but also reach for things that are reasonably achievable.
Instead of trying to look to be the best, strive to be better.
Don't cover the bitter truths with seemingly sweet lies.
Let us be honest with ourselves.
Let us focus on our own truths.
In the end, the things that others see in us will not matter, as all the impressions we try to heap are temporary.
What matters is that, as we try to be truthful with ourselves and without hiding the fact that we are imperfect but still wonderful individuals, we strive to be better than what we were just a moment ago.
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